Well I can’t believe I missed my OAC English exam. I thought it was today at 9:00 a.m. because that was one of the dates given on the schedule for that exam, but apparently it was Tuesday at 1:00. I’m really losing hope lately for improving my stupidity. It’s not that I didn’t look over my exam schedule, because I saw the date and I wrote it down, but it was the wrong date. The office said they’ll have my English teacher phone me and I’ll also have to talk to the vice-principal about it. They probably won’t let me write it again and they’ll give me a zero. Well, I’ll live and learn but there’s not much I can do about it now.
I don’t know how I’m going to tell Bruce about this. He’ll probably kill me. If not, he will at least think I’m a moron and lose all hope in me. Ooooooooh, I don’t want him to be angry at me, but I know he will be. I don’t think it’s very healthy for our relationship to be as afraid of him as I am these days. Sometimes I don’t even want to tell him things because I know how angry he’ll get and think I’m an idiot. Although, I tell him everything anyway because I don’t like keeping things from him. I have no idea what he’s going to say when he hears about my exam. But maybe I’m just making a big deal out of this whole thing. Maybe it doesn’t matter at all in the overall scheme of things. Who cares! I missed my exam! Fuck it, fuck everything, fuck everyone! Now I feel better.
I hope I don’t miss my art exam this afternoon. That would be too much for me to handle. I have an appointment after that to get my hair trimmed. I might miss that too, I can’t even remember what time it’s at. I think three o’clock. Anyway, I went yesterday to get my hair cut and I was planning on getting a brush cut but luckily nobody could do me until today. Luckily because I changed my mind last night about getting a brush cut. I’m going to let it grow.
After I left the hair salon, I saw Bruce in the courtyard talking with some beautiful guy. I immediately thought that he was trying to pick up this person, and my first reaction was to pretend I didn’t see him and just go home. I’m such a loser. I’m glad I didn’t do that. I went over to see Bruce and he was talking to Carlos, the gay guy he has been telling me about. So I finally got to meet Carlos. Tony was there with his friends too. But Carlos, Carlos is soooooo beautiful, I wanted to grab him right there. He just got thrown out of his house too, so maybe he can live with me until he moves in with his sister. As if that would ever happen though. I don’t think I would want him living with me, even just for a little while. That would not be at all considerate to Bruce.
Last night I went to meet Bruce at the university and of course he was mad at me when I got there, as always. This time it was because he had concocted some story in his mond about me going off with Andrew to someone else’s house and being late to meet him as a result. Even though I came early, he was still mad. But he had absolutely no reason to be mad at me so I didn’t apologize. We rode home together and looked at apartments for rent on the way. We saw some nice ones on Aberdeen called “The Randolph Apartments”, and I also looked inside one of the apartments for rent in the last building I lived in. It had a room with a huge fireplace in it which was very beautiful. We looked at some other apartments too which were in houses and then I dropped him off at home.
I kept riding around for a little while longer. I rode along Jackson Street all the way down to the Tim Horton’s and I saw a bunch of little prosties hanging around outside on the sidewalk. One of them looked really mean. I wonder what it’s like to be a teenage male prostitute in Hamilton.
Andrew and I have decided we’re going to ride our bikes to Toronto when we live there on the street for a week. That will be a long ride for sure but it might be nice, who knows. I’ll probably be run over by a car, or sucked under a transport truck and torn to shreds. I’m really worried about not having a helmet for this trip because it’s really dangerous to ride without one. Oh well, we’ll see what happens.
