Hi guys, sorry I have been off my blog for a little while. I was pretty blown away by my father’s death awhile back, especially since I only heard about it 6 months after he had died. To top it all off, I heard about it  from someone I hardly even know. And I have to admit, even as I expect the bare minimum of decency from my parents and sister, even this was a very cheap, scummy and low blow. The sudden news of finding out my father had died 6 months earlier was devastating to me to put it mildly. I know I hadn’t seen or spoken to my father in 18 years, since I was 15 years old, but I really expected  him, especially on his deathbed, to make even the tiniest, slightest effort to right the wrongs of his past. To try to make amends with the only son he ever had, that he drove away forever because of his violent abuse. But he didn’t. And all that year I thought he was still alive, I was holding out hope that at the last minute I’d get a letter from him acknowledging and making even a small apology to me for all of the despicable and criminal things he did in the past. But right up until his last dying breath, he still couldn’t even be bothered to make the smallest effort to right his wrongs. And after so many years of waiting and hoping, I was finally faced with the fact that my father lived as a jerk, and he died as one too. That alone was so distressing for me to realize.

Ian Duncan, Art Duncan, Wilma Duncan

I think I was just holding out hope that the people who created me, would somehow turn out to not be the complete scum of the earth, manipulative, arrogant psychopaths, that I had known them to be so well as I was growing up in their house. After all, who wants to know they come from mentally deficient stock like that? I sure didn’t. But apparently I do, and I have to live with that. My parents scraped the bottom of the barrel in their personal lives at home, and belonged in prison for their crimes. But they got away with it for decades. My father even escaped any punishment all the way to his death. My only consolation is the hope that me leaving them at such a young age and refusing to ever speak to them again for the next 18 years somehow hurt them profoundly. I doubt it did. Maybe at first, but I think that was more the shock of seeing their favourite punching bag having the nerve to stand up to them and walk out of their toxic lives forever. And once they got over that shock, I believe, although obviously I can’t know for sure, that they moved on and got over it, and stopped caring. And to some extent were even relieved that I was gone. Less money to spend on a kid they hated, less fighting, less embarrassment that might tarnish their all-important public image.

But I on the other hand, have never forgotten, and the physical and mental bruises I got back then still feel as fresh to me now as they did back then. It’s sad that after all this time, I still can’t get over it. I’ve been trying though and have been with a great psychiatrist for awhile now who has helped a lot with dealing with what she calls Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I still think of it all day and night though: the violence, the bruises on my body I had to try and hide at school, the sexual improprieties towards me by my mother, the endless humiliations and exposures, and hiding from my parents every time I heard them coming because I was so terrified of them. I got so used to hiding by being silent that I still walk on my toes everywhere I go, even after all these years, even when I’m alone at home. Every day and night I think of these horrible things from my past, all year long, and apparently that’s not normal. So my psychiatrist is trying to help me end that, but it takes time, years usually.

But during all this I was really not in a state of mind to be writing personal things on my blog, but I’m going to get back into my writing rhythm again now, now that I’ve gotten past the shock of this. So thanks for your patience and understanding, and most of all thanks so much to those of you have been so friendly and supportive. It may not seem like much to you, but your comments really effect me in a good way, and I’m very grateful for it. So here’s looking to another year full of fun posts! :)

Thanks guys!

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Before we shot this scene Lukas Wild and Brody Frost had made out on three different occasions but had never had the chance to consummate the relationship. We could tell that they were both starting to get very frustrated waiting for the big moment. So when we finally put them together in a room, turned on the camera and said “Ok, do what you want,” they were ripping each other’s clothes off before we even finished the sentence. From there the heat just kept turning up with Lukas and Brody trying every position they had been dreaming about for the past month. Where they into it? Watch Brody’s 8 inch dick swell to full size the whole time Lukas is in his ass. And watch Lukas splash his love juice all over Brody. The proof is in the pudding.

Click here to see Brody & Lukas’ full gallery and hot video.

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There’s something about a big dick that’s fascinating to look at, even if you’re not a size queen (although you probably are). Over the past 10 years here at Squirtz we’ve been fascinated many times and with the new decade upon us, we’d like to take this opportunity to parade in front of you some of the most jaw dropping (and jaw unhinging) meat we have ever seen. Enjoy this little preview…the full collection includes 50 of our most hung guys. :)

Click here to see the full gallery and hot video of our biggest dicks of the decade.

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Lorenzo is visiting Montreal from Mexico and is here studying photography. He likes the life here but doesn’t care for our winters. When we first met him, we had the sense that he was a very serious guy, very business-like. But as we got deeper into our discussion, we found that he has plenty of that Latin passion surging through his veins. The visits to the sauna, and some other dirty secrets related to foot play tipped us off that his reserved exterior was merely a front.

Click here to see Lorenzo’s full gallery and hot video.

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We have been trying for months to get martial arts hottie Nathan Knox back in front of our camera. Finally the planets aligned and he was free for a solo. He has a serious girlfriend now so a duo was out of the question (for the moment). That new relationship has also limited his otherwise diverse sexual interests but he is still allowed to tell us about the “all you can eat” orgy he had before he got involved with his new girl.

Click here to see Nathan’s full gallery and hot video.

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As some of you might remember, last October American porn star Jesse Santana from Cock Boys shot a scene with Bel Ami model Luke Hamill while in Manchester. They were there as judges in the ill-fated porn star search. During that filming, Jesse and Luke really hit it off as you could tell by watching the scene, which was wildly popular on our site as well as on all the blogs all over the internet. After getting on really well in Manchester, Luke and Jesse had promised to stay in touch, so when the opportunity for Jesse to come to Amsterdam to shoot with Luke again came up they both jumped on it instantly. Only this time Jesse brought over a couple friends: fellow Cocky Boys models Bobby Clark and Skyler Caine. With the arrival of 3 potential lovers, we decided to send Luke over with a few friends, Milo and Elijah Peters, Jean-Daniel Chagall, Colin Hewitt, Todd Rosset, Florian Nemec and of course Kris Evans. Suddenly the scene with Jesse and Luke became much more than just the two of them, it became a party. This week’s video is Bobby Clark and Colin Hewitt enjoying every tasty inch of each other.

Click here to see Bobby and Colin’s full hot sex video and pictures.

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Trying saying that title 3 times fast? Or even one time slow, and I’ll be impressed. :) OK here we have Bel Ami boy Bedrich showing off his nubile assets in the pics from his sensual solo video. The photo session pics are dreamy, and show him to be a very sweet guy, with a just-arrived-in-town-from-the-country innocent look about him. And the screencaps near the end of the photos here will give you a little preview of that video. But of course to appreciate this boy in full, you just have to see him in action. At 6′1″ and 163 pounds, there’s a lot of him to watch.

Click here to see Bedrich’s full hot sex video and pictures.

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More of Bel Ami’s super hottie Ariel Vanean and his sexy, sweet friend Jack Blue, as the two eat each other up with passionate looks in their eyes. Their on-screen chemistry will make you forget there’s even a camera in the room, and more like you’re just a horny fly on the wall watching two hot guys satisfying all of their sexual needs together.

Click here to see Ariel and Jack’s full hot sex video and pictures.

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It was July, 2007 when Jonathan first made a splash on Squirtz and when we ran into him recently we thought he was well worth a second look. His current plan is to join the army soon and he has started back training for boxing. Jonathan identifies as straight and he definitely likes the girls. But in true Montreal style, he is ok with “fucking around” with guys but he prefers if they are a little bit older than him.

Click here to see Jonathan’s full gallery and hot video.

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It’s extremely hot seeing Elijah pound Ariel’s ass. Ariel is almost bent in half on the couch, Elijah driving his dick in and out of his hole. With some passionate sucking to put them over the edge, they both explode giving each other a juicy facial.

Click here to see Ariel and Elijah’s full hot sex video and pictures.

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